Hillaryloves

Lent’s Last Wednesday

hillaryloves — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:55:17 +0000

Realized that today is a day for rest. I met with a student at 8; lively girl-talk it an incredible way to start the day. Then I did my first labyrinth ever. It was a very healing and healthy experience. I find I’ve had a lot of trouble connecting with God (or whatever you might happen to call God, unless you’re a hardcore atheist, in which case you’ll probably have trouble relating to this next little blip) even though God hasn’t felt particularly far away or condemning. But one of the questions I was given to think about as I wound through the maze was, “What keeps you from serving others?” At first I came up with things like being too judgemental or figuring it was within my power to decide who was deserving or undeserving. But as I ruminated, it dawned on me that the real reason I might not offer my love to someone else is that I’ve been hurt when I’ve been selfless in the past. I think it’s natural to be self-protective, to eventually be really suspicious of other people. But is it really the best way to be? Then I got home, ate lunch and took a 2 part nap. Some weird dreams, but necessary rest nonetheless.

The tomato

hillaryloves — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:22:20 +0000

I’m excited that Spring is nearly here. My optimism is not dampened by this past weekend’s dump of snow. Anyway, Spring means Summer which means that there will be fruit lying on the sidewalks. I was reminded of my passion for sidewalk fruit last week when driving home from a meeting. As I turned the second-last corner before arriving home, I saw what I thought to be an orange lying on the sidewalk. I was so excited that I parked the car in front of my house, got out, and ran around the block to examine my treasure. Imagine my sheer pleasure to realize that I’d been mistaken and what I’d actually seen was a tomato! Stomping on it was incredible, the noise it made was delightfully disgusting. I mean seriously, how often does one get to squish a tomato? I have far too much regard for produce to purchase it merely for the purpose of stepping on it. But I figure, if a tomato or a grape anything of the sort is lying on the ground, the probability of it being consumed by a human is pretty minimal. Therefore, I feel no guilt destroying it!

Icky Sicky

hillaryloves — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:23:03 +0000

I’ve been sick. Actually, it feels like I’ve been getting sick since Christmas but never actually managed to come down with anything. So, in a masochistic sort of way, it’s a bit of a relief to be finally getting this over with.

I’ve been away to Northern Alberta. It was weird on the trip there; driving into Peace River at night, it was as though something inside me relaxed. I didn’t realize I’d been holding myself so tightly. Am not quite certain how to interpret the sensation.

I’ve been busy (and tired as a consequence!) telling people up North about the campus ministry I’m involved with. One thing I appreciate about being a missionary and having to raise support is that I have an impetus to reconnect with people I haven’t talked to for years.

Memorable Moments from my Northcountry Trip:
-Cleaning a bank late at night with an old college buddy
-The cat sleeping on my shoulder
-Arguing with a waitress
-Two and a half hours at Denny’s with a friend I’ve known since I was born
-Playing crib with Dad
-Making cookies for Grandad
-Being maligned by a woman at church
-Sitting with grieving friends
-Buying horrid cds with a chum (I learned that it is NOT easy driving to orchestral marches)
-Lunch with grandparents
-At church, looking into the eyes of a little girl who was also having trouble keeping them closed during prayer (Much of the time, my eyes want to be open)

from Olds

hillaryloves — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 04:50:05 +0000

My mother is helping me write this post. She is rather refluctant, umm reluctant.

We are in Olds for a wedding. (Mom, we have to write more than this)

We liked the Walmart Superstore that is new to Olds. However, we are extremely disappointed (Mom wouldn’t let me write “pissed off”) that Dollarama was closed. We wanted cheap wedding cards and I wanted a fresh sudoku book. Oh, and some nail polish remover. We probably would have checked to see if they carried pregnancy tests; pregnancy tests are the weirdest thing to be selling at a dollar store.

We just finished the leftover salad from supper as well as the bun I couldn’t finish at supper (it had mashed potato dried on it). Mom says the bun was far too good to waste.

Shauna just popped in to tell us that we’re electrocuting Grandad!

Mom, here: O.K. They didn’t really electrocute Grandad-they were giving him some kind of massage with impulses or something. Sounds strange, but apparently feels pretty good. S’long.

Going North

hillaryloves — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 04:36:24 +0000

Am listening to “Goodbye My Lover” by James Blunt as I type this last little note for the next 2 weeks. ”I’m so hollow, baby. I’m so hollow.” Such a ridiculous and sappy moment! I’m excited to head North for a little while, I get to see Marla! In other news, my hair is now purple, at least a little bit. Deciding to go purple was rather odd; it was as though my subconscious had been itching for more purple in my life. So, when I got to the hairdresser’s, I knew exactly what I wanted without much forethought at all. According to wikipedia, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_symbolism_and_psychology), purple can symbolize many different things: “Envy, Sensuality, bisexuality, spirituality, creativity, wealth, royalty, nobility, ceremony, mystery, wisdom, enlightenment, arrogance, flamboyance, gaudiness, mourning, profanity, exaggeration, confusion”, etc.In some ways these days, I will admit to feeling rather purple. One last thing, I don’t like wearing nail polish very much. Oh, and public busses can be really stinky. And yay! for interpretive dancing.

Why I went to Japan…

hillaryloves — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 21:36:56 +0000

Awhile ago, someone told me they didn’t understand WHY I sent myself off to Japan to teach, that it seemed like I put my life on hold to go abroad. The truth is that I didn’t put anything on hold. I’d been struggling with adjustment disorder (which affected me in the form of depression), I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life after university, I was recovering from the ending of a long-term relationship, etc.. Somewhere in the middle of that mess I did some ESL teaching training.
One day, I was in the washroom (a very thought-provoking place) at the Farm and I had a conversation with myself: “I haven’t had any adventures lately. It’s been about 2 years. It’s time for another one.”
Shortly thereafter I found myself faced with the decision to either stay in Northern Alberta and find a decent job OR I could use my training and leave the country. I asked myself, “What are you more afraid of?” I was surprised to learn that staying home scared me more. Because if I stayed, I knew I’d settle down and know what my life would be like until I died. I didn’t want that. So, I found a job in Fukuyama-shi, Hiroshima-ken and bought a plane ticket…

yukata

hillaryloves — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 23:50:16 +0000

One lovely Fall day, several magical ladies visited my home for an afternoon of all things Japan: tea ceremony, yukata-wearing, sushi-making/eating, origami, etc.. My former-student/present-friend, Chiko, directed events.

Movies With Wallpaper

hillaryloves — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 23:40:28 +0000

Heather informs me that “The Number 23″ wasn’t very popular, but I liked it. One of my favourite parts was when Jim Carrey ripped wallpaper off the wall to reveal secret writing from his heinous past. I like watching people in movies rip off wall paper. An ambivalent experience, really: exciting and soothing. It happens in “The Forgotten” too.
I am now going to create a compendium of wall-paper-tearing movies…